Do you suffer from Holiday perfectionism?

I DON’T – I absolutely love the Holidays.

I love everything about them……….EVERYTHING.

I truly believe it is one of the most magical, wonderful times of the year. 

The Holidays give me an opportunity to reflect on every single one of the blessings that God has graciously bestowed on me and my family.

For me, this time of year is one of the most peaceful and relaxing times I spend with my treasured friends and family.

Cue the screeching record…….

THAT is total bull****.

I suffer from Extreme Holiday Perfectionism.

That means I have a tough time taking a chill pill…..


A Santa themed Christmas tree in the stairwell - J Dub By Design
My Santa themed tree in the stairwell

Okay Let’s Be Real……

Sometimes, (right now) when stores all around my area start putting out Christmas displays (this is insane – it starts in June), the Holiday dread seeps over me like a stomach virus.

Some version of the following words swirl through my brain.

“Oh gross, I cannot do it again this year.”

“I cannot deal with the mess I make dragging all this stuff out.”

“Whoever invented glitter needs to go to prison for life.”

“The kids are almost grown.  It’s not even worth it anymore.”

“I’m too exhausted and old for this.”

“Whose bright idea was it to buy all of this **** anyway?”

“Maybe we should go away for the Holidays so I don’t have to think about it this year”.

“Our friends will never know we didn’t throw our annual Christmas party.”

The Reality

The reality is that it takes a lot of thought to make your home shine.

Let’s face it, the everyday stresses that we normally deal with such as work, deadlines, kids, husbands, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, budgets, pets, friends, parents, co-workers, bosses, employees, in-laws, teachers, coaches, and exes are already MORE than enough to send us into a tailspin.

Then add in all the Holiday extras such as cooking, decorating, entertaining, shopping, and wrapping.

Voilá, you have a mental and physical train wreck coming your way at any given moment.

Maybe You Can Relate…….

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Maybe your fear is that whatever you saw on Pinterest or in Southern Living, Garden and Gun, Magnolia, etc and decided to re-create is not going to look or taste remotely like the photograph and/or the accompanying recipe.

Even though it promises to be “super easy and delicious”.

Maybe your fear is that you will miss the photograph session in your holiday themed pajamas admiring your Christmas Winter Wonderland while you drink your spiced cider, hot cocoa, (vodka/wine/whiskey) because you didn’t check off everything in your expertly organized Christmas planner before December 1st.

More Relatability….

Or you find yourself in a panic TYPING IN ALL CAPS to your husband and kids because they dared to text you at 8pm on a Sunday night.

“We are starving. What are you cooking tonight?”.

Meanwhile you are hanging precariously from a 12 foot ladder covered in glitter adjusting your tree topper for the millionth time.

Jennifer Williams standing on ladder in dining room - J Dub By Design
Me on ladder in dining room hanging mistletoe balls for our annual Christmas party

Maybe your fear is that when you pull out all the pre-lit wreaths, some of them won’t work no matter how much you get on your knees and pray.

You will then be stuck on the phone with Home Depot for hours trying to find the exact same wreaths that have been discontinued for nearly five years.

I don’t know if any of these scenarios apply to you personally…….

And by the way, I am only asking for a friend.

The Reason For the Dread

Who am I kidding?  I suffer from Major Holiday Perfectionism. Actually, I am a die hard perfectionist in ALL areas of my life. 

With that disease, comes the miserable symptoms of fear and anxiety.

My Holiday Perfectionism is the fear of getting whatever it may be, right (PERFECT), no matter what.

It’s also the anxiety that if I get it right. (PERFECT), will everyone else also think so.

Adding ribbon to garland in stairwell - J Dub By Design
Putting the ribbon on the stairwell garland. The garland was too thin for me, so I doubled it (a total of 360 feet of garland) and then added the ribbon, and then ornaments, and then florals, and then giant bows…….



So, instead of fighting the dread and beating myself up for feeling anxious, fearful, stressed, and “un-perfect” (yes, I know that is not a word), I have come to accept that these negative thoughts are going to creep in one way or another.

And, then I make every effort to LET THEM GO. I put my focus back where it should have been to begin with.

……..before I actually do lose my mind.

I Am So Smart, Aren’t I?

Uh, no.

The truth is that while all of these thoughts are running through my head, the Man upstairs usually has to do something super cool to get my attention.

He may help me stand in an ultra-long line in whatever store I may be in for over 45 minutes.

Once it’s my turn, He help me realize I don’t have my wallet.

David Williams wearing reindeer antlers in Hobby Lobby - J Dub By Design
The first time EVER, I took David into Hobby Lobby

Sometimes He may help me stare at my flat tire for hours while I am in the middle of nowhere. This happens to me even though David told me to check the tires before I left the ranch.

But my personal favorite is when He helps me lose my phone somewhere in my car’s secret Bermuda Triangle, but I don’t see it.

So, I walk all over the parking lot looking for it.

Sometimes, He even performs all this magic, SIMULTANEOUSLY.

The Reminder

His neat little tricks force me to be quiet.

He then delicately points out that as much as He loves my exquisite sense of style surrounding Christmas and the not so perfect fabulous Christmas Spirit I am exhibiting right this very moment, this is NOT ABOUT ME or my stupid Holiday perfectionism.

HE then reminds me that it is about HIM  and HIS Son, Jesus Christ.

And sometimes he even says “Sweetie, while you are doing what you do best, could you please keep ME in mind and not sweat the small stuff?”

“Thanks and you’re welcome.”

The Reality Check

After I have gotten my much deserved wake-up call, some nice person in the parking lot turns my wallet into the front desk.

My husband magically appears to help me with my flat tire.

And, I can finally see my phone stuck way down in the smallest crack imaginable.

It is then, and ONLY then, I realize that it is okay if I don’t get everything finished by December 1st, even if it has always been a goal for me.

It Doesn’t Matter

If the tree leans and the tree topper looks like it’s going to crash and burn at any given moment – no big deal.

It is okay if the glitter keeps multiplying.

If everyone comes in my home and leaves with some stuck to them – FABULOUS. 

unlit Christmas tree in dining room - J Dub By Design
The tree lights went out the night before our annual Christmas party….

If the wreaths on the front of the house do not match the wreaths on the back, then that is perfectly acceptable. 

(I’m rolling my eyes as I type this, and please don’t judge me).

So what if David and the kids are forced to eat left overs or cereal three days in a row.

I can promise you from my own personal experience, no one else in the world that MATTERS will judge you for not attaining perfection.

Even if you broadcast your perceived Holiday perfectionism failures to anyone and everyone who cares to listen……or read about it. 

I Love What I Do

Because I love what I do, I set many overachieving goals for myself that I want to get right.

That is PERFECTLY acceptable.

See what I did there?

The trick is for me to manage my Holiday perfectionism and overreaching goals.

Sometimes I manage it well, sometimes, not so much.

David trying to figure out what happened to my tree in the stairwell - J Dub By Design
David trying to figure out why the lights don’t work on another tree in a different spot.

When I find life giving me some much needed time-outs many, many, many times during the Holiday season, that is when it finally dawns on me that I need to get a grip.

And thank God for the gentle reminder that this is…


Your Own Struggle

If you are struggling with your own perfectionism tendencies and looking for some sort of magical advice that you have never heard before, I hate to break it to you, there isn’t any magic.

So, take it from me (or your mental health professional), if you don’t give yourself a break, the train wreck is headed your way.

And, if you don’t want the time outs that God gives me, don’t be hard headed (unlike me).

Take a deep breath, and LET IT GO. 

Jennifer staring at the wreaths soon the outside of the house - J Dub By Design
Me looking at my outdoor wreaths wondering if anyone can see that the ornaments have faded from the sun.

Letting It Go…..

I pick up the phone and chat with a close friend.

Better yet, I go out to lunch with said friend and laugh about how stupid I looked when I fell off the front porch trying to perfectly decorate Lillie, my Christmas angel.

Trust me, I know I looked stupid because there’s security camera footage.

Sometimes, I park myself on the sofa in front of the fire with my drink of choice at the end of the busy, long day.

David sits with me and is fascinated as I tell him how I found another perfectly unique Santa to add to my collection.

More Letting Go…..

I might even hang out with my feral cats and play “let’s pass on the glitter”. 

Outdoor Christmas tree falls over - J Dub By Design
Meredith, my forever feral, took out the outdoor Christmas tree two days before the party. She did it again four hours before the party.

Better yet, I look through old Christmas cards that I have saved over the years.

I completely blow my mind with how much things change.

Maybe I drive around town singing Christmas carols with David and our high school and college age kids as we admire the beautiful lights.

Or, even better, I go see Santa with the entire family, and take a fabulous photo……

Just kidding, those last two are all lies, Lies, LIES…….

Jennifer and Eve in front of Christmas tree wearing pajamas - J Dub By Design
Stinkerbelle allowed me to use her as a ladder to hang an ornament

My point to all this nonsense is that time flies. You can’t get it back, and the Holiday season will be over before you know it.

So, enjoy, enjoy, enjoy EVERY SINGLE THING about this magical Season.


Those dreaded feelings of my need to overachieve usually pass as soon as the heat wave in Texas is over and fall begins to make itself known.

With the cooler weather, my excitement for the Holidays returns.

I begin creating, designing, and planning on my unorganized Pinterest boards and my messy legal notepads just to show the Holiday Perfectionism monster I am not playing around.

No Really…..Finally

I truly do believe it is one of the most magical and wonderful times of the year.

So, here’s to you finding your own ways to LET IT ALL GO surrounding Holiday perfectionism, so that you can appreciate the ones in your life that matter most.

I hope you have a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year……. In fact, I hope it’s your BEST YEAR YET!

Living room decorated for Christmas - J Dub By Design
Our living room at Christmas

Finally, does anyone know who invented glitter? 🙂

This post does contain affiliate links.  This means if you click on certain links and purchase a product I recommend, I will receive a small commission at no extra cost to you.  If you do make a purchase through my links, thank you so much for supporting my website.

Want to know more about my perfectionism tendencies and my take on New Year’s resolutions? Click here.

If you want to make the most fabulous dressing for your holiday meals, click here. Your family will request it time and time again.